II. Let’s go Jordy, I am alive. The Bike Safari.

This is 4 days out of date, more to follow. A teaser of the next instalment - bruised, bloodied but not broken.

Shuffle of the day 15.04.18 - Young Rascals - groovin’

So my life of old has finished and for the last few days my new life sitting on a bike round the clock has commenced. So far it really has been an odyssey of random, sometimes difficult but mostly it has been filled with incredibly rewarding moments. I have made it out of Nairobi into the plains of the Serengeti across the border into Tanzania. You can stop reading now if all you’re here for is an update. Read on if you want some great in depth blogging and a Chelsea rant at the end.

Three days deep into this thing now called a ‘Bike Safari’ by locals (sounds pretty good), and only until today has it lived up to this new coined name. Baboons, Antelope, Twigas (giraffes) and Zebra; like the animals it so far has been a combination of dirt, suncream and adrenaline for me. It’s been superb, as I am now following the markers and routes down the maps and roads I have been studying for so long.

I had a hard, but bucolic ride out of Nairobi, swept through Karen on the Ngong and out the other side into the farms that fill the space between my first stop at Kajiado. It was a great day; wheels down the whole way and fun to see how the old girl sails. I pushed hard, definitely too hard and sadly in a day of firsts, I had my first puncture followed by three more. A small disaster and a real sap on the bike's and my resources, but luckily for me was saved by Wesley Snipes (pictured middle right) and his mates in Isinya. They fitted me with some new spokes; lesson learnt, I took the L and got on with it. I soon arrived in Kajiado to Peter and his brother Gerald. Both were men of the cloth and put me up in the Church. Luckily, God or anyone else did not touch me while I was with the Catholics and I am rightly and reverentially grateful to them both.

I broke the back of this follow up post in the border town of Namanga, after successfully ticking off Kenya and crossing to Tanzania. One out of seven countries I thought, even after 170 kilometres - still one down the hatchet.

My fortunes turned, as I was soon fixed on by a gimlet eyed proprietor of the nearest establishment to the border, within minutes of crossing I had been put down in front of the Southampton Chelsea game. The proprietor was a Somalian, an Ian McShane type character straight from a frontier town in the Wild West; with every closing minute of a gripping Chelsea comeback, I had a different vendor in front of me and by the end of the 90 I had had my money changed, a new sim card topped up and an omelette n chips laid to rest on my table. I was also strangely fixed up with one of the Somalian’s many flunkeys completely unbeknownst to me. We spent the afternoon, evening and night together. He watched me eat my supper, put lead to leaf as I wrote this all out in a series of town blackouts, and even came to the toilet with me - just to make sure I was alright. Watchful but charming.

Day three gave me a new phenomenon on the bike - Tanzanian rain. A tropical storm I thought we would miss up here in the north proved me wrong and I oscillated tirelessly through it for a hearty climb up to Arusha. Great fun once again followed by a steamy descent clocking well over 45kms at times. This took me into the city and also onto my first ton (100kms in a day)- no one to raise the bat to, sadly. Happy with the effort, luckily my body is doing alright with it all - and no chaffage to report just a deep, deep ache from the seat as I get used to a razor thin racing seat. Imagine a slow kidney punch in the geesh.

As you can see above, I have taken inspiration from Bear Grylls and settled into a Hotel Spa for the night for a hot shower, football, followed by Rick Stein in Mexico on BBC lifestyle. Buenas noches. The hotel apparently had another biker staying bound for Mozambique, I was shown a video of him playing a ukulele, American, and looked like a a real hipster - thankfully, he had gone and I enjoyed a cup of Joe peacefully without the annoying twang of the ukulele.

Again, most importantly, and the reason I am writing this all down other then to keep myself occupied; I would like to thank all those who have given money to the just giving page. This will be my way of keeping in touch and saying thank you to you all, at least until I am more settled and can take a moment to thank you all personally. If you haven’t already unburdened your wallets for the cause and want to after this gripping account - you can here https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/alex-mann8 for the inspiring Brake and if you can (of course you can) please donate to the Charlie Watkins Foundation here https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/charlie-watkins-foundation.

I do not want any pathos on this journey, just your generosity and support for my endeavour and for the much larger one that Harry Watkins and those at Brake have undertaken. Their work is truly phenomenal so get on and shell some money on them both.

Now, that I have got you all the way down here and as requested, I have a few words and reactions from the Southampton / Chelsea match - which I caught thanks to a huge graft to the border of Tanzania.

For a long time, I have watched other better teams then Chelsea this season have a go and win from 2 down. A good old fashioned fightback. Think Man U/City, Roma and very nearly Juventus. We all looked enviously towards those games thinking when was the last the time my club showed that kind of grit and passion. I am afraid that Chelsea, a team full of heartless Spaniards, a couple sulky Belgians and an Itay manager, in an even bleaker mood; I had little hope going two down. Alas, I walked out of the border terminal showing the game after their second went in and only ran back when I had the yell of the first Chelsea goal. This was a rare break in the deluge that has been Chelsea’s title defending season.

If you can seriously ask yourself as a fan why we are in this position a year on from winning the toughest league in football then you clearly haven’t seen the proverbial writing on the wall for Chelsea. For me, there are three things, and they all stem from one another. It starts with the Club’s top brass. Toxic. Poisonous. Hunter-Jones. Whatever you want to call it. Like something out of Layer Cake, Roman and his cabal are going to whack Fat Tony Conte out of CFC. Who next? When will the bloodshed stop?

Conte, after inheriting his title winning team, it seems will go, undeservedly. Granovskaia and the like never invested into Conte, which Segways to the next major issue: transfers. There is no trust, only a model and its broken. Zappacosta, Rudiger, the woeful Bakayoko, Drinkwater, Barkley (is he injured? Does it matter?) the new wing back Emerson (played once?), and Morata. The guy is a tourist, he does a season here, season there and has zero grit. Loves to play around on the floor. Drogba's and then Costa’s shadow will be difficult to step out of for anyone. I am not moneyball and in football there are intangibles - he has got the touch, but lacks the right level of spirit so far. Giroud, top finish today, but we are turning into the Everton buying up journeymen, the wrong young players, ignoring what we already have. When H

he started against Barca, for Chelsea it should have embarrassed all fans, he barely held it up and proved he isn’t at that level. The last 20, yes. A starter no - he deceives by scoring here and there. The heroics in shown by the Romans (no surprises there), further proved that the Barcelona game should have been won. Huge pity.

Answers? Who knows? This has gone past a cyclical feeling and has turned into a sicker version of Arsenal’s yearly striker problems, Wenger in/out fiasco, and normally both at the same time. Conte will go. It will be groundhog day only worse, now with the new stadium being built. More sacrifices made to the XI and for what? So that the city boys (sorry Uncle Hugh) can whittle out more of the social landscape of London. West Ham is going/gone, Tottenham are following and we will follow blindly. Yes it’s all for the future, but you must safeguard the present which isn’t the case here. It looks like the executives have decided to take it easy on their purses while things are built; the foundations laid they would argue, but who knows anymore. We could win the thing again next season without the champions league.

One solution, and is also the last major problem at SW6 - it's leadership. Where are the leaders? Do we have a caption anymore? Who has grit in this team? Nothing positive here. It’s sad to see the demise of Cahill, not having an out and out warrior leader on the field has cost us. It is what Chelsea have had always in stock for the last generation. This season has also seen Luiz fade, a fan favourite, and his Brazillian passion and flair in the middle has been awry across the back. Both, were part of the vertebrate of the 16/17 season and haven’t been covered or replaced well. David Azpi is not a captain, leader, legend. The gulf left since Terry has only widened this season and the only response is to buy in the right characters to thicken the slurry of boneless Chelsea players. Im still clinging on to the hope that Loftus-Cheek has something world class in him to pull us out into calmer seas. Soon, we will need a new man to build around with Hazard/Madrid rumours flying.

Salvation wont be found before half are team are sold off, Hazard is very likely to be off without the Champions League and Madrid need a new marketable Galactico, this will leave us with a lot of dollar as well as turd to chuck - urgently, considering the likes of Bakayoko. We will have a new manager next season, certainly, but Luiz Enrique or whoever it is will be a false dawn; unless, the top floors of the Chelsea management look out the window and see what is going on here. The methods, policies and outlooks need to change. I believe now at this pivotal moment our winning at all costs, albeit succesful methodology, will start to take a larger toll.

This rant was requested - any others requests will have the chance of being covered in the Book of Mann.

God bless, godspeed and good night x